She writes...
Keep Your Eye on the Goal
As the parent of a young child, you probably feel utterly responsible for his life and well-being. When your child refuses to do the most basic yet most necessary act of eating, it can be frightening. It can cause your protective instincts to move into overdrive - "I can't let my child starve!" I am here to tell you that your child will not starve; actually, he's not even at a slight risk of wasting away. He actually could survive on Goldfish crackers, cheese, and and chicken nuggets until his picky eating stage ran its course. That would not be the best fuel for him, of course, but he'd still be running circles around most adults.
I encourage you to internalize the following concept: what is
most important is NOT that your child ingests food, but rather that the
food he does eat provides him with the vitamins, minerals, and sources
of energy he needs to grow and thrive. A smaller amount of food than you
would imagine can fit the bill - as long as it is the right kind of
food. That will be our goal: to revise your child's current eating
preferences into healthy habits that can sustain him with a minimum
amount of fuss and stress.
KEY POINT: If your child is a
picky eater, keep the correct goal in mind. The objective is not to make
your child eat MORE food but to be sure that food choices are healthy
ones.
It is about solving only those issues that YOU feel are problems. Every family views food issues differently, and how you go about achieving your healthy eating goals will be different from how other families do it. So your first and foremost job is to decide what you want to change and why.
When faced with a food issue, take the time to pull yourself out of the emotional fray for a moment and ask yourself these questions:
- Am I considering making changes because of input from outsiders, unnecessarily rigid rules, a power struggle with my child, or memories of my own childhood?
- Am I focused on the issue at hand, or am I being guided by worries about potential future problems that don't even exist right now?
- Is this issue something that truly affects my child's health -- or our family peace -- and so must be addressed now?
There are no cookie-cutter solutions to any parenting problems, including picky eating. Therefore, I will provide an assortment of ideas for each situation. Pick one, pick two, or combine a variety of ideas to create a personalized plan for your child. Then adjust and modify your plan as you go until you find the right solution. That's how the process of raising children works best.
Kim's thoughts: I like the idea of stepping back and looking at the whole picture - stepping out of the box and gaining perspective on the situation. I also appreciate her saying that it's not about eating more but eating right. Food is our medicine and our fuel but I also understand that food is fun and treats are delicious! My ultimate goal is to educate my boys on what "healthy" eating is and to give them the knowledge to eventually make good food decisions. I want my family (including my biggest stone wall - my husband) to eat more balanced diet which includes lots of raw vegetables, lean proteins, small amount of healthy fats and low-glycemic carbs with very little processing, pesticides, and non-organic ingredients. And it all being affordable! Piece of cake right? Of course that's a no sugar, organic, non-processed, zero flour piece of cake that no one will eat. :)
